How to Have an Amazing Threesome

For adventurous couples, inviting a third person into the bedroom can be an exciting way to explore new sexual territory together. Threesomes open up many enticing possibilities - but also come with unique challenges. While a threesome has the potential to be an amazing intimate experience, it can go horribly wrong if not approached carefully.

If you and your partner are considering taking the plunge into a threesome, proceed with caution. There are important things you must consider and pitfalls you'll want to avoid to ensure it brings you closer rather than damaging your relationship. This guide provides practical tips to help you navigate the intricacies of bringing a third into your bedroom in a way that's thrilling yet thoughtful.

Follow these steps when preparing for and carrying out a threesome to maximize pleasure while minimizing negative impacts. With proper communication, consent and awareness of each person's needs, you can embark on this new adventure together in a way that suits your relationship.

While threesomes are complex, they can deepen intimacy and passion when done consciously. Learn how to have this intimate experience successfully.

1. Ensure your relationship is solid first

Before inviting a third person into your bedroom, it is crucial to take time to evaluate your relationship and ensure it is in a healthy place to take this step.

• If you rush into a threesome when your relationship has unresolved conflicts or tensions, it can seriously backfire. Any issues between you and your partner will likely bubble up and intensify under the pressure of adding another person.

• Take time to have open and honest conversations about the state of your relationship. Sort through any conflicts, improve communication around needs and boundaries, and do whatever it takes to feel secure in your bond before taking the plunge into new sexual territory.

• Your partner wanting to explore a threesome does not necessarily mean you are not enough for them. Often the desire comes from wanting to experience new excitement together, not dissatisfaction with the relationship. Do not let insecurity make you feel otherwise.

• Make sure both people feel fully seen, valued, and cared for. Resolve any emotional distance or issues with vulnerability before adding a third party.

• If you try to force a threesome when your relationship is on shaky ground, you can end up doing serious damage. Get the support you need to strengthen your partnership's foundation first. Then when you're connected and solid, you'll be in a healthier place to explore together.

2. Vet and agree on the additional partner

Once you've strengthened your relationship foundation, thoughtfully select your additional partner together. Rushing into finding just any willing candidate can be risky.

• Make sure you both genuinely like the third person, feel comfortable with them, and can trust them. Forcing your partner into intimacy with someone they dislike is a recipe for hurt and jealousy.

• Don't assume your partner will be okay with whoever you choose. Have multiple open conversations to find someone you both enthusiastically consent to.

• If you can't agree on one person, don't force it. It's better to keep looking until you find someone you both want than leave one partner unhappy.

• Take your time with the selection process to get it right. You want someone who will be a positive addition, not damage your relationship.

• Consider starting your search for a third partner online via apps designed for this purpose. Being upfront about what you're looking for can streamline finding candidates.

• If meeting someone new in person, approach them as a couple in a friendly, non-aggressive way. Cornering someone can backfire.

• Make sure any prospective third partner understands the expectations and knows this would be a threesome experience, not an emotional relationship.

3. Discuss desires, boundaries and safety precautions

Before getting physically intimate with your agreed-upon third partner, have an open and thorough discussion to align on comfort levels, boundaries, rules and safety precautions.

• Cover specific sex acts that each person is comfortable participating in or not. Get clear consent from everyone on what's allowed and not allowed.

• Consider your comfort levels with things like kissing, penetration, oral sex, touching certain areas, using toys, etc. Everyone should voice their boundaries.

• If penetration is on the table, discuss protection and testing. Requiring blood test results or using condoms/dental dams during the encounter can alleviate health concerns.

• Agree to a safe word that anyone can use to pause or completely stop at any time if they feel uncomfortable or want to withdraw consent in the moment.

• Talk through how you'll handle possible situations like jealousy, awkwardness or someone feeling left out in the moment. Having a plan can help navigate potential emotions.

• Don't just assume you're all on the same page because you discussed it beforehand. Check in frequently to make sure all participants are still genuinely willing throughout the experience.

• It's better to slowly build arousal and intimacy than rush into the physicality. Let comfort levels gradually increase before acting.

• This discussion process helps create a space where everyone can feel safe, respected and heard. Set the tone that open communication is key.

4. Focus on pleasure and inclusion for all

During the threesome experience, consciously make efforts to pay attention to both partners equally. Everyone should feel seen, included and satisfied.

• Touch, kiss, caress each person. Take turns being the center of attention.

• If someone seems left out or disconnected, bring them back in with affection and focused play.

• Check in frequently to see what each person enjoys. Adjust activities based on feedback.

• Don't get so wrapped up in your own pleasure that you neglect someone else's experience.

Positions to try

There are lots of threesome postions you may like to use when you sart your first threesome.

• Configurations that allow eye contact facilitate intimacy. Face each other as much as possible.

• Positions like one woman riding the man cowgirl while the other sits on his face keep all faces interconnected.

• Take turns being the center of attention in the middle.

• Use toys like vibrators to create more options for everyone's involvement.

• Two women can focus on pleasuring the man together at the same time.

• Stay aware of getting stuck in couples and leaving the third partner out for too long. Actively switch focus.

• There's no perfect formula, so stay flexible and attentive to each person's needs in the moment.

5. Communicate after

Schedule quality time post-threesome to check in with each other about how the experience went. Reflecting afterwards is key for growth and strengthening your relationship.

• Share highlights of what was enjoyable and turned you on. Explore doing more of these activities together.

• If any negative emotions like jealousy, insecurity or resentment arose, talk through them with empathy and understanding.

• Discuss the threesome openly, including what worked well and what could be improved next time. Accept feedback humbly.

• Reaffirm your love and commitment to your partner. Make it clear the third person was just sexual, not emotional.

• Each person should feel safe to voice their authentic emotions without judgement. Listen without defensiveness.

• Getting different perspectives will provide valuable insight into each other's needs. Strive to understand.

• If someone felt uneasy at any point, apologize for not picking up on it. Talk through how to be more attentive next time.

• Reflect on your comfort levels with acts like kissing or certain positions. Establish if any boundaries need adjustment.

• Communication and reflection after a threesome will help you grow together, become closer and navigate this new sexual territory.

Conclusion:

A threesome has the potential to be an intensely passionate, bonding experience - but only if you lay the right foundation. With careful vetting, clear communication, constant checking in, and time set aside to connect afterwards, you can explore this new territory as a couple in a way that brings you closer.

Remember, above all else, your relationship takes priority over a fleeting sexual experience. Keep your partner's emotional wellbeing at the center rather than chasing physical thrills. Pleasure is multiplied when you know your relationship is the stable base to return to after your intimate adventures.

Bring thoughtfulness, patience and unconditional care for your partner into your threesome explorations. With this approach, your fantasy encounter will become an amazing memory that strengthens your relationship for years to come.